RSS 2.0 - Blog FeedGet Him to Define Your Relationship without Scaring Him Away
This happens all too often to women. You find a guy you like, you start dating him and you connect.
On the inside, you feel that you have this undeniable chemistry and everyone on the outside already believes you’re a couple. The trouble is, you’re not even sure what you guys are, and even if he feels the same way about you. As a woman, you might feel like you’re not supposed to make the first move in declaring it a relationship, but unless you want to wait around forever, you may have to take that leap.
Be Straightforward
There are lots of ways that you can approach this, but whatever you do, make sure that you’re straightforward with him. If you’ve been dating for a while now, there is really nothing wrong with having a talk with him about defining your relationship. You don’t want to spend your time investing in something that could be nothing more than a close friendship. Beating around the bush will only annoy him, and therefore you want to just come out with it in a nice way.
Consider saying something like, “I’m not one to jump to conclusions, but I am really into you and was wondering where this thing with us is heading.” It is to the point, lets him know you like him, and defines what you’re after.
His Answer
If a guy is just looking for a friend with benefits, he will likely avoid answering your question. If you find that he is at a loss for words, or says that he is “unsure” you should proceed in the relationship with caution so that you don’t put all your eggs in one basket. If they come clean and simply say something along the lines of “I like you too, but I really don’t think I am ready to be in a committed relationship and I don’t want to hurt or disappoint you either.” You should not respond in a negative way, you will then need to determine if you’re willing to wait around for it to blossom into more, or if you’re going to gracefully bow out and let him continue to soul search.
If you decide you’re not going to wait around, you need to disconnect from him completely. Many women make the mistake of sticking around and as a result you lose your dignity and you’re also not taken seriously anymore.
Cut Off Benefits
If you decide to stay with him and wait until he is “ready” you are going to need to set some boundaries. If you’ve ever heard the saying, “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”, you understand exactly what I’m talking about. If you have been having sex or staying the night at his house you should consider taking that off the table until things get more serious. By giving him all the privileges that a boyfriend would have, you’re essentially prolonging the chances of you ever having a committed relationship.
Ladies, no one said that dating would be easy. Or that your prince charming would be the first man that you date, but considering you have a lot of power, use it and don’t allow yourself to be abused. If he is really into you, he will either commit to you or respect the boundaries you have set in place.
Tags: committed relationship
Be Straightforward
There are lots of ways that you can approach this, but whatever you do, make sure that you’re straightforward with him. If you’ve been dating for a while now, there is really nothing wrong with having a talk with him about defining your relationship. You don’t want to spend your time investing in something that could be nothing more than a close friendship. Beating around the bush will only annoy him, and therefore you want to just come out with it in a nice way.
Consider saying something like, “I’m not one to jump to conclusions, but I am really into you and was wondering where this thing with us is heading.” It is to the point, lets him know you like him, and defines what you’re after.
His Answer
If a guy is just looking for a friend with benefits, he will likely avoid answering your question. If you find that he is at a loss for words, or says that he is “unsure” you should proceed in the relationship with caution so that you don’t put all your eggs in one basket. If they come clean and simply say something along the lines of “I like you too, but I really don’t think I am ready to be in a committed relationship and I don’t want to hurt or disappoint you either.” You should not respond in a negative way, you will then need to determine if you’re willing to wait around for it to blossom into more, or if you’re going to gracefully bow out and let him continue to soul search.
If you decide you’re not going to wait around, you need to disconnect from him completely. Many women make the mistake of sticking around and as a result you lose your dignity and you’re also not taken seriously anymore.
Cut Off Benefits
If you decide to stay with him and wait until he is “ready” you are going to need to set some boundaries. If you’ve ever heard the saying, “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”, you understand exactly what I’m talking about. If you have been having sex or staying the night at his house you should consider taking that off the table until things get more serious. By giving him all the privileges that a boyfriend would have, you’re essentially prolonging the chances of you ever having a committed relationship.
Ladies, no one said that dating would be easy. Or that your prince charming would be the first man that you date, but considering you have a lot of power, use it and don’t allow yourself to be abused. If he is really into you, he will either commit to you or respect the boundaries you have set in place.
Tags: committed relationship